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Saturday, August 12, 2006
"Look within yourself for that peace befor you look for it in someone else. Because you'll only be setting that someone else to disappoint you." - Natasha a.k.a. The Black Widow ; Marvel Universe
Did i ever mention i like reading comics? Sure, i can be geek, but a hot geek nonetheless (work with me here). Though granted i'm cheap enough not to buy some, which explains why i'm reading through a monitor. Will i go bald?
so about today. hm... i got home bout 1 pm ate and read comics. That's enough time wasted, got a lot of stuff to do. But what to do first? I think i'll roll a die.
o and another children's book i like is "The Missing Piece meets the Big O."
I feel so mature.
Current mood:  crazy Current music: Electric Fan
Saturday, June 24, 2006
5:56PM
The Missing Piece by Shel Silverstein
It was missing a piece.
And it was not happy.
So it set off in search of its missing piece.
And as it rolled it sang this song-
"Oh I'm lookin' for my missin' piece
I'm lookin' for my missin' piece
Hi-dee-ho, here I go,
Lookin' for my missin' piece."
Sometimes it baked in the sun
but then the cool rain would come down.
And sometimes it was frozen by the snow
but then the sun would come and warm it again.
And because it was missing a piece it could not very fast so it would stop to talk to a worm
or smell a flower
and sometimes it would pass a beetle
and sometimes the beetle would pass it
and this was the best time of all.
And on it went, over oceans
"On I'm lookin' for my missin' piece
Over land and over seas
So grease my knees and fleece my bees
I'm lookin' for my missin' piece."
through swamps and jungles
up mountains
and down mountains
Until one day, lo and behold!
"I've found my missin' piece," it sang,
"I've found my missin' piece
So grease my knees and fleece my bees
I've found my..."
"Wait a minute," said the piece.
"Before you go greasing your knees
and fleecing your bees..."
I am not your missing piece. I am nobody's piece.
I am my own piece.
And even if I was somebody's missing piece
I don't think I'd be yours!"
"Oh," it said sadly,
"I'm sorry to have bothered you."
And rolled on.
It found another piece
but this one was too small.
And this one was too big
this one too sharp
and this one too square.
One time it seemed to have found the perfect piece
but it didn't hold it tightly enough
and lost it.
Another time it held too tightly
and broke.
So on and on it rolled,
having adventures
falling into holes
and bumping into stone walls.
And one day it came upon another piece that seemed to be just right.
"Hi," it said.
"Hi," said the piece.
"Are you anybody else's missing piece?"
"Not that I know of."
"Well, maybe you want to be your own piece?"
"I can be someone's and still be mine."
"Well, maybe you don't want to be mine."
"Maybe I do."
"Maybe we won't fit...."
"Well..."
"Hummm?"
"Ummmm!"
It fit!
It fit perfectly!
At last! At last!
And away it rolled
and because it was now complete,
it rolled faster and faster.
Faster than it had ever rolled before!
So fast that it could not stop to talk to a worm
or smell a flower
too fast for a butterfly to land.
But it could sing its happy song,
at last it could sing "I've found my missing piece."
And it began to sing-
"I've frown my nizzin' geez
Uf vroun my mitzin' brees
So krease ny meas
An bleez ny drees
Uf frown..."
Oh my, now that it was complete it could not sing at all.
"Aha," it thought.
"So that's how it is!"
So it stopped rolling...
and it set the piece down gently,
and slowly rolled away
and as it rolled it softly sang-
"Oh I'm lookin' for my missin' piece
I'm lookin' for my missin' piece
Hi-dee-ho, here I go,
Lookin' for my missin' piece."
Saturday, August 20, 2005
10:33AM
"I don't need anything from anyone and no one needs anything from me and thats the way I like it." -some guy in a book.
You see a lot of cases like this. People in denial of their deepest desire because it's too hard to achieve. But then that's how I see it.
Current mood:  bouncy Current music: Under the Sea
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Bayang Magiliw Perlas ng Silanganan Alab ng Puso Sa dibdib mo'y buhay. Lupang hinirang Duyan ka ng magiting Sa manlulupig Di ka pasisiil. Sa dagat at bundok Sa simoy at sa langit mong bughaw May dilag ang tula At awit sa paglayang minamahal. Ang kislap ng watawat mo'y Tagumpay na nagniningning Ang bituin at araw niya Kailan pa ma'y di magdidilim. Lupa ng araw, ng luwalhati't pagsinta Buhay ay langit sa piling mo. Aming ligaya na pag may mang-aapi Ang mamatay nang dahil sa iyo. Bayang Magiliw Perlas ng Silanganan Alab ng Puso Sa dibdib mo'y buhay. Lupang hinirang Duyan ka ng magiting Sa manlulupig Di ka pasisiil. Sa dagat at bundok Sa simoy at sa langit mong bughaw May dilag ang tula At awit sa paglayang minamahal. Ang kislap ng watawat mo'y Tagumpay na nagniningning Ang bituin at araw niya Kailan pa ma'y di magdidilim. Lupa ng araw, ng luwalhati't pagsinta Buhay ay langit sa piling mo. Aming ligaya na pag may mang-aapi Ang mamatay nang dahil sa iyo. Bayang Magiliw Perlas ng Silanganan Alab ng Puso Sa dibdib mo'y buhay. Lupang hinirang Duyan ka ng magiting Sa manlulupig Di ka pasisiil. Sa dagat at bundok Sa simoy at sa langit mong bughaw May dilag ang tula At awit sa paglayang minamahal. Ang kislap ng watawat mo'y Tagumpay na nagniningning Ang bituin at araw niya Kailan pa ma'y di magdidilim. Lupa ng araw, ng luwalhati't pagsinta Buhay ay langit sa piling mo. Aming ligaya na pag may mang-aapi Ang mamatay nang dahil sa iyo. Bayang Magiliw Perlas ng Silanganan Alab ng Puso Sa dibdib mo'y buhay. Lupang hinirang Duyan ka ng magiting Sa manlulupig Di ka pasisiil. Sa dagat at bundok Sa simoy at sa langit mong bughaw May dilag ang tula At awit sa paglayang minamahal. Ang kislap ng watawat mo'y Tagumpay na nagniningning Ang bituin at araw niya Kailan pa ma'y di magdidilim. Lupa ng araw, ng luwalhati't pagsinta Buhay ay langit sa piling mo. Aming ligaya na pag may mang-aapi Ang mamatay nang dahil sa iyo. Bayang Magiliw Perlas ng Silanganan Alab ng Puso Sa dibdib mo'y buhay. Lupang hinirang Duyan ka ng magiting Sa manlulupig Di ka pasisiil. Sa dagat at bundok Sa simoy at sa langit mong bughaw May dilag ang tula At awit sa paglayang minamahal. Ang kislap ng watawat mo'y Tagumpay na nagniningning Ang bituin at araw niya Kailan pa ma'y di magdidilim. Lupa ng araw, ng luwalhati't pagsinta Buhay ay langit sa piling mo. Aming ligaya na pag may mang-aapi Ang mamatay nang dahil sa iyo.
NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION I'D LIKE THE LIBERTY OF SAYING GOTCHA! I'm just checking if people do read the stuff i'm posting (yup senseless) leave a comment.
Current mood: chipper
Sunday, August 14, 2005
"What happened happened and it couldn't have happened any other way." -Morpheus
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Death of a Nice Guy by Azrael...
Women are always saying how they want a nice guy... someone who will open up to them, spend time with them, do nice things for them, in general, be there for them.
Bullshit.
Next time I hear that from a woman, I will say exactly that. Bullshit. Because you don't want the nice guys. Sure, you can say you do all you want, and maybe you can trick yourself into believing it too. But the truth is - you want the jerks. You want the guys who show an interest in you, then back off for no apparent reason. You want the guys who don't call you for two weeks, and when they do they swear up and down they're committed to you. You want the ones who don't talk to you, don't open up at all (and you want to change them to boot!) If you do find a nice guy, you make sure he's unattainable. He has a girlfriend, or he's gay, or he doesn't want a relationship at all. Basically, you want what you can't have.
You know how I know this? I used to be a nice guy. Yeah, I'm the one you always come running to when the jerks screw you over. I listen to your problems, I offer advice. Like all nice guys before me, and the countless ones after, I'm always there to back you up. I tell you how pretty you are. I tell you how fun it is to spend time with you, how cool you are, how you deserve great things. You say thanks, briefly, and then continue to rant about Jerk #2873.
I tell you over and over that you deserve a better guy, and there's always that "but...". Then you call me up at 1 in the morning some night just to tell me how he finally called you after two weeks, and how happy it's made you. You make excuses for why he's been ignoring you. You make more plans to change him. "If." And, do you know what the worst part is? This is the guy you're attracted to. This is the guy you're willing to get physical with. This is the guy you're willing to lose your virginity to. You make a big deal about how you're not a slut, and you won't just kiss any guy. But you admit that you would go all the way with this guy. Or you want to. Or, you already have.
No, you don't want a nice guy. And don't give me that bullshit about "a good man is hard to find." There are millions of them out there. Probably hundreds around where you live. And I'm willing to bet you know a few. You know that guy you call at any hour at night to talk about your relationship triumphs/problems? The one who always compliments you, makes you feel better about yourself? Is always willing to drop whatever he's doing to satisfy your needs?
What about him? No, of course not him. He's not enough of a jerk for you.
And the worst part? You don't want him now... but you will. When you get older, oh, say 30, and the ticking of your biological clock gets louder and louder, and you realize you can't play these bullshit games anymore, you stop going for the jerks and find the closest nice guy you can find. Wait, I take that back, the absolute worst part is that we let you do it. We've been starved for your attention since puberty, and now we're all too happy to get it. We're nice guys too, so we accept you when you come around, instead of giving you the cold shoulder in return you've been giving us for 15 years.
I used to be a nice guy. Fuck that. I took the phone calls, I dished out the compliments, I listened, I gave so much advice, shit, I should have a doctorate in psychology conferred to me right this instant. I used to be a nice guy, and I figured that I didn't need to actively look for a girl - that if I just got to know people, some girl would get to know me and really like me and develop an interest in me. I thought that I would make for an ideal partner, I'd open up with you, and be there as much or as little as you wanted me to.
I used to be a nice guy. What did that get me? 21 years of my right hand and softcore porn on Showtime. So, fuck it. Fuck it entirely. I'm not going to try to meet women and get to know them, and to hell with the phone calls at one in the morning. Next time you start bitching to me over the fact that he hasn't called in a week, I'm just going to smile at you and say "Ok." In fact, maybe, I'll tell you to call him. Better yet, go over to his house, and drop your pants for him right this moment. Save us all some time. I feel the desire to be that good, dependable, caring friend slipping rapidly away.
Current mood: flirty
"I know because I have to know. It is my purpose, it is why I am here."
-Keymaker
Current mood:  drunk
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
if god is able to prevent evil but not willing, then he is malevolent
if god is willing but not able, then he is not omnipotent
if god is both willing and able, then whence cometh evil?
if he is neither willing nor able, then why call him god?
-epicurus
------------------------------------------------------------------
got this from Gavin. What do you think?
Current mood:  okay Current music: Unglued - Stone Temple Pilot
"Choice is an illusion created by those with power and those without power."
-Merovingian
Current mood:  indescribable
Monday, August 8, 2005
1:52AM
"I'm a one-gurl guy. An' if you weren't my gurl---I'd be lost. No one else could take your place. Why do you think I protect you so much?" -Moose Mason
-----------------------------------------------
any thoughts?
Current mood: amused
Thursday, August 4, 2005
Daydreamer
Daydreams. Pleasant reveries that linger in our deepest self. Something we knowingly desire.
There leaned on a sheltered bench with a can of coke in hand, sat Will, a 20-year-old student, his dark brown eyes staring blankly at the flooded football field, the heavy rain pouring on the vast green ground, his short black hair tossed around by the strong wind like the blades of grass, his breath chilled by the cold damp air. Afternoon classes were canceled because of an incoming typhoon.
“Hey Will!”
A voice echoed through the sound of the drops falling mercilessly from the sky. It was Meg, Will’s best friend.
“Hey Meg, how come you’re still here?”
“I have to wait for my ride home. It’s stuck in traffic. Happens in this kind of weather. What are
you doing here anyway?
“Daydreaming…”
Meg laughed at Will. Though they have known each other since childhood, the frequent daydreaming is the one habit that still amuses her. She sits beside him, still wearing the smirk on her face.
“That’s becoming a bad habit you know. That’s why the teachers are always on your case. They’re tired of snapping you out of it.”
“ Well what can I do? It’s part of me. I can’t help it. Besides, if I do it often enough and they’ll leave me alone.”
“Sigh… it’s a wonder you don’t fail with that habit. So what’s it about?”
Will looking puzzled at Meg
“Most of the time you’d rather not hear what I have to say. Why the sudden change?”
“Well my ride’s not here yet, might as well kill some time. Besides, I want to know what you’re dreaming about in this kind of weather.”
“I don’t really notice anything when my head’s in the clouds. Come to think of it, it is kind of cold.”
Will wraps his blue jacket around his best friend.
“You sure took your time. I’ve been waiting forever.”
Meg holds on to the jacket wound around her. She lies on Will’s shoulder, her long brown hair gliding down his chest, the warmth of each other comforting them against the sharp cold breeze.
“I’ve been daydreaming...”
Will brings Meg closer to him so that his faintest whisper can be heard within the echo of the wind. Meg looks up at Will, her hazel brown eyes catching a glimpse of anticipation etched upon Will’s fixed impression.
“About what?”
“Well… I’m dreaming about going to the river, having a picnic, taking a walk in the park, having a dinner at a fancy restaurant and having the money to pay for it, catching a movie afterwards, a night of watching the stars, seeing fireworks, sitting at the large fountain, having some desert, walking home and saying good night. I’m dreaming about an ideal date.”
Will looks back at Meg, their eyes meet. For a moment there is a silent understanding between them, but they cannot help but hesitate.
“Who would your date be?”
“Hm… well she would have hazel brown eyes, long brown hair, have one heck of a body. She’d
be as nice as an angel and would have a great sense of humor.”
“Hm… I think the circus fat lady is the gal you deserve.”
“What?”
“Well she would have one HECK OF A BODY. She’d be nice and would have a nice sense of
humor, being in the circus and all.”
Will looked at her puzzlingly. With one eye brow raised, he could only let out a smirk that made
him seem serious.
“But seriously Will, where are you going to find this girl?”
“I’d imagine I she’d be right beside me, leaning on my shoulder, using my jacket.”
They looked at each other, and closed their eyes. Soon their lips would touch, a silent expression
of affection.
“Hey Will!”
Will opened his eyes. A voice echoed through the sound of the drops falling mercilessly from the sky. It was Meg, Will’s best friend.
“Hey Meg, how come you’re still here?”
“Actually, my boyfriend’s picking me up soon. He’s sort of stuck in traffic. What are you doing
here anyway?
“Daydreaming…”
There leaned on a sheltered bench with an empty can of coke in hand, sat Will, a 20-year-old
student, his dark brown eyes staring blankly at the flooded football field.
Fragile is the budding rose,
Whose fate it does not weave nor sow,
Whose crevices are torn wide open,
By the shining rays of its only sol.
--------------------------------------
What does this mean to you? Let me know.
Monday, August 1, 2005
Death of a Nice Guy by Azrael...
Women are always saying how they want a nice guy... someone who will open up to them, spend time with them, do nice things for them, in general, be there for them.
Bullshit.
Next time I hear that from a woman, I will say exactly that. Bullshit. Because you don't want the nice guys. Sure, you can say you do all you want, and maybe you can trick yourself into believing it too. But the truth is - you want the jerks. You want the guys who show an interest in you, then back off for no apparent reason. You want the guys who don't call you for two weeks, and when they do they swear up and down they're committed to you. You want the ones who don't talk to you, don't open up at all (and you want to change them to boot!) If you do find a nice guy, you make sure he's unattainable. He has a girlfriend, or he's gay, or he doesn't want a relationship at all. Basically, you want what you can't have.
You know how I know this? I used to be a nice guy. Yeah, I'm the one you always come running to when the jerks screw you over. I listen to your problems, I offer advice. Like all nice guys before me, and the countless ones after, I'm always there to back you up. I tell you how pretty you are. I tell you how fun it is to spend time with you, how cool you are, how you deserve great things. You say thanks, briefly, and then continue to rant about Jerk #2873.
I tell you over and over that you deserve a better guy, and there's always that "but...". Then you call me up at 1 in the morning some night just to tell me how he finally called you after two weeks, and how happy it's made you. You make excuses for why he's been ignoring you. You make more plans to change him. "If." And, do you know what the worst part is? This is the guy you're attracted to. This is the guy you're willing to get physical with. This is the guy you're willing to lose your virginity to. You make a big deal about how you're not a slut, and you won't just kiss any guy. But you admit that you would go all the way with this guy. Or you want to. Or, you already have.
No, you don't want a nice guy. And don't give me that bullshit about "a good man is hard to find." There are millions of them out there. Probably hundreds around where you live. And I'm willing to bet you know a few. You know that guy you call at any hour at night to talk about your relationship triumphs/problems? The one who always compliments you, makes you feel better about yourself? Is always willing to drop whatever he's doing to satisfy your needs?
What about him? No, of course not him. He's not enough of a jerk for you.
And the worst part? You don't want him now... but you will. When you get older, oh, say 30, and the ticking of your biological clock gets louder and louder, and you realize you can't play these bullshit games anymore, you stop going for the jerks and find the closest nice guy you can find. Wait, I take that back, the absolute worst part is that we let you do it. We've been starved for your attention since puberty, and now we're all too happy to get it. We're nice guys too, so we accept you when you come around, instead of giving you the cold shoulder in return you've been giving us for 15 years.
I used to be a nice guy. Fuck that. I took the phone calls, I dished out the compliments, I listened, I gave so much advice, shit, I should have a doctorate in psychology conferred to me right this instant. I used to be a nice guy, and I figured that I didn't need to actively look for a girl - that if I just got to know people, some girl would get to know me and really like me and develop an interest in me. I thought that I would make for an ideal partner, I'd open up with you, and be there as much or as little as you wanted me to.
I used to be a nice guy. What did that get me? 21 years of my right hand and softcore porn on Showtime. So, fuck it. Fuck it entirely. I'm not going to try to meet women and get to know them, and to hell with the phone calls at one in the morning. Next time you start bitching to me over the fact that he hasn't called in a week, I'm just going to smile at you and say "Ok." In fact, maybe, I'll tell you to call him. Better yet, go over to his house, and drop your pants for him right this moment. Save us all some time. I feel the desire to be that good, dependable, caring friend slipping rapidly away.
Current mood: blank
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